Or at least that’s what I’m hoping! Jayna is making the transition from a sweet, innocent, submissive baby to a defiant toddler with thoughts and ideas of her own, oftentimes in disaccord with her momma’s! The most frustrating thing for me lately is diaper changing. She kicks and squeals almost every time, making it nearly impossible to get a dirty diaper off and a clean one on, that is if I can get her to lay down. Author of Parenting, Illustrated with Crappy Pictures, portrays it perfectly in her Toddler Diaper Changes story:
You should really click over and read the full thing. She is hilarious.
After trying and failing at the time out thing, I decided to do a little research on how to properly carry out this well-known discipline tactic. That’s when I came across SOS! Help For Parents, a practical guide for handling common everyday behavior problems. Clinical Psychologist Lynn Clark wrote the book and it is based off of his professional practice as a psychologist, his personal experience as a parent, and the conclusions of numerous parent-child research studies. I am sure the $10.00 I spent to purchase it will be well worth his expert advice! Maybe it can be of help to you also!
The Behavioral Approach to Child Rearing and Discipline
SOS! Help For Parents discusses and promotes the use of a behavioral approach to parenthood. This is the idea that good and bad behavior are both learned, but that bad behavior can be “unlearned” – there is hope yet! Rewards, which consist of anything from a smile and a hug to being able to go to the park or have a treat, act as catalysts to behavior development – whether good or bad.
Clark lays out 3 parenting rules that implement the use of rewards. He also lists some good ideas for possible rewards:
Rewarding good behavior seems to be an easy rule to follow, but I am definitely guilty of accidentally rewarding bad behavior. For example, just yesterday morning Jayna needed her hair washed while in the bath and I was doing my hair. I asked Aaron to come and do it, but then ended up giving in to Jayna’s crying for me to be the one to wash her hair. My washing her hair acts as a reward and teaches her that if she cries I will give in and do what she wants.
The last rule states that it’s sometimes necessary to punish bad behavior, but to use a mild punishment such as scolding, natural consequences, logical consequences, or time-out. I will be discussing time out in further detail and how to effectively use it as SOS! Parenting Help describes it in the coming weeks. I’m so glad I found this book and hope it will make this frustrating new stage Jayna is entering a little easier!